Welcome, or fuck you, depending.
I'm not here to tell you how many calories you can burn roller skating, I'm here to incite and entertain.
Take me or leave me.

Monday, October 31, 2011

Captain Antik & Boy Reckless

Have you all seen this yet?

Oh good god. I love these guys, but unitards are kind of Dumptruck's thing. Don't you think?

Happy Halloween. (sigh).

Look what someone did:


Remember THIS?

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Gene Kelly or Charlie Chaplin?

Me: My dad told me about this video he saw of Charlie Chaplin roller skating!
Estro Jen: That's Gene Kelly.
Me: How do you know??
Estro Jen: Because there are no films of Charlie Chaplin roller skating.
Me: Um. Okay. I guess you know all the roller skating films there are.

I present to you folks, Charlie Chaplin roller skating: 

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Dumptruck in Times Square!

Remember that blog I told you told vote for back in August? The one about Dumptruck? So he could win a billboard in Times Square? Remember that?

How bad ass is that? 
Our very own Dumptruck in Times Square.

Check out this video featuring the contest winners and "like" Dump Truck on facebook!

about.me billboard contest winners from about.me on Vimeo.

Friday, October 7, 2011


THIS IS SIGNIFICANT!!!!!!!! Every single day In the Newseum in Washington D.C., they have the front page of major newspapers from around the world. There was an entire hallway of Oct. 7th Newspapers. EVERY SINGLE ONE seemed to mention two things. The death of Steve Jobs and the fact that today is the 10 year anniversay of the war in Afghanistan. But Indiana? The front page of their paper has three things: Steve Jobs, the War, and Roller Derby is the fastest growing sport in the Nation. The article was just as long as the Steve Jobs one. = SIGNIFICANT!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

I wrote this last night at midnight

You know, I just shut off my computer, got in bed and turned off the light. As I was drifting off, for some reason I started reflecting on my past year and a half in roller derby. And all of a sudden I had an epiphany. It was like a big flashing billboard in my mind. The thought was so shocking to me I sat up straight in bed and said to myself, “this is significant!” and grabbed my computer. It was more of an emotion than a thought really, because I can’t actually explain WHY these words came into my brain. But they are as follows:  

“I don’t like the direction roller derby is going.”

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Suzy Hotrod in ESPN magazine!

So Suzy Hotrod announced today on her facebook fan page:  

"The cat is out of the bag! I will be featured in ESPN'S 2011 THE BODY ISSUE!!!! This is a huge day for roller derby! Links below to articles."

And it's pretty much a huge day for the rest of us too. ESPN recognizing an athlete from the roller derby community is AMAZING and an undeniably positive step for our sport as a whole. Congratulation Suzy!

This is this photo that appeared in the magazine, but check it out on ESPN's website, where you can also view the other athletes who made the issue.

Suzy Hotrod skates with the Gotham Girls Roller Derby and is the Co-Captain of Team USA
"Like" her on facebook!

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Re-Blog: How to Talk to Little Girls

Okay, I did it again, another re-blog. But I swear, I only re-blog important shit! (Okay, except for maybe the Fuck It Duck and 90210 Day but still, this one's good.) It's about resisting the urge to tell children they're cute. At first you might be wondering what's wrong with complimenting a child, but Latina Fatale makes a lot of sense.

Read her blog entitled How to Talk to Little Girls here.

Re-Blog: Waking up full of Awesome

[^^^clearly full of Awesome]

I hate being a cop out and just posting photos or links to other people's sites, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do to keep up with your own deadlines, and besides- it gives me an opportunity to highlight other people's work. A friend of mine shared this on facebook recently and I felt it was definitely worth passing on. It comes from Redefine Girly, a blog about changing the way that we think about the societal norms that shape little girls.

It's called Waking up full of Awesome, and it's a great read.
Check it out here.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Roller Derby Reverend

10 of my sisters from the roller derby community have shared this link on facebook today, but I didn't watch it til one of them said the video made her cry. Touching, poignant, time relevant. Someone who is actually changing the face of roller derby and how the world views it. A roller derby reverend. 
 Sorry I cannot figure out how to embed this one. You'll have to click here.
This reminds me of a blog I wrote awhile back: Spreading the Roller Derby Gospel

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Farmer John Contest Update! (VOTE 4th STREET RETRO ROLLERS!)

The Farmer John commercial came out featuring Long Beach Roller Derby's 4th Street Retro Rollers! Have you voted yet? You can vote more than once! It means $1,000 for the league!

The featured skaters are Flame Fatale, Estro Jen and Anita Nother. [I'm in the background wearing pink and black tie dye looking tights and a red helmet.]

TEXT TEAM97 TO 80800 then like them on facebook and VOTE AGAIN!

me with the 4th Street Retro Rollers on April 22nd, 2011

Monday, September 12, 2011

Vote 4th Street Retro Rollers!

Farmer John is hosting a contest for local sports teams to win some money at Sports Chalet and the 4th Street Retro Rollers of Long Beach Roller Derby made it into the running. They get a billboard in Hollywood and will be featured in a commercial. Some Farmer John representatives showed up to a practice to film for the commercial and even had one of their guys lace up some Moxi rental skates and learn some derby drills as "Jammer John". The 4th Street Retro Rollers are finalists but they haven't won yet!
To help them win, vote by texting Team97 to 80800
or like Farmer John on Facebook and vote for them there.

Moxi Rollerskates in US Magazine!

Wendy Williams loves Moxi Rollerskates! Her shoe collection was featured in US magazine and they included a special shot of her Moxi jungle print skates! Can't get better promotion than that!

Saturday, September 10, 2011

It's 9-10-11!

The date it 9-10-11, which seems like a perfectly legitimate reason to re-post me blog about 90210 day! (Last year, September 2nd 2010)

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

And the Winner is...!

Okay, I've dragged this out long enough!

THE WINNING ENTRY IS THE FO SHWIVEL! (Submitted by Sheri Mahlke).

Let me tell you why I love this entry. In case you are not hip to the jive, it is based off the slang term "Fo Shizzle" as in, "Fo Shizzle My Nizzle" popularized by the rap superstar Snoop Dogg. For those who do not know, Snoop Dogg is from Long Beach California. Long Beach is the home of Moxi Rollerskates. These are the reasons that factored into my choice.


Circle Jerks: By Shakira Glover because we’re definitely a couple of jerks
Spin Cycle: By Heidi Garman because it feels like we’re in a washing machine
Sista Twista: By Diane Elias, for being the first to win my mini contest of guessing the winner.

I loved many of the names, and so many were just so clever that I had to mention a few of my favorites.


Ring around the Moxis: By Jessica Manual-Lofton for using the word Moxi
Auntie Gravitational Pull: By Stacey BCubed Duvall for using my name
The Smoothie Maker: By Killer Bee Killed because we like the imagery it evokes
Tossing the Salad: By Pia Mess – makes me think of puking!
Japanese Ninja Bears: By Jumbo Jett becaue it was the weirdest one
Vomit Comet: By Anita Nother
The Royal Flush (because toilet bowl was too crude): By Keren Lowell (we go the other direction in Australia)
Whirling Girlish: By Richard Simmons because I think it’s clever

There were some R rated names that I felt were good enough to win but we wanted to keep it G rated, so my favorite risqué entries are as follows:

2 Fukuyup: By Dawnell Wickespeedia Smith- I’m not sure why I like this name so much but I do. Also, my roller derby name was almost Speedy GoneLawless, (as in Speedy Gonzales) and her name reminds me of it!

The Whoretex: By Frankie Rogers. I love this name, it’s just so fucking crass. But Estro wasn’t down.

Me and Pigeon doing the Fo Shwivel outside of Moxi.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Vote for DumpTruck!

If you all don't know who Dump Truck is you really should.

 He's from Mississippi and got his start emceeing and announcing for Roller Derby over half a decade ago. He is known for his crazy antics and "willingness to do just about anything". If you don't recognize him from his crazy costumes and sparkly unitards, you will surely recognize his distinct voice. One of the main announcers for DNN and podcasters for Derby Deeds his voice is one of the most, (dare I say it?) THE MOST well known voice in roller derby. He can also be heard on the Jam City Rollergirls video game. I first met Dump Truck when he announced for Long Beach's second season game opener. (The night was epic! Not only was it the season opener and the league's first banked track game, but Dump Truck was on the mic and Blade and Quadzilla were in attendance to guest coach. Read about it here).

But I'm really here to show you HIS AWESOME NEW EMCEE PAGE and encourage you to vote for it on about.me . You see, if he wins, he gets a billboard in Times Square. And promotion of roller derby anywhere is promotion of roller derby everywhere! (Unless you're the Bay Bombers.) In other words, if he wins, we all win. So you should vote!

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Just some funny Rollercon quotes

Found in the stairwell

 That’s about the best tittie fuck you’re gona get with me: a sharpie and an A cup.

She’s like the Meg Whitman of Rollercon! She paid all that money and didn’t step through the doors once.

Oh, so you’re taking your boobs down to the pool?

Auntie Social: “Hey Commissioner, What’s up!”
Jerry Seltzer: “Oh just me, every time I see you”

Come on, what professional sporting event has someone in a vagina costume?

Next year for Rollercon, I’m going to grow my bush out really long and put an afro pick in it.

She’s a DREAMBOAT. (Trust me, it was funny).

“Um…Hello? there’s a LINE.” “I’m not cutting, I’m taking the stairs bitch, I’m young and my legs work”.

I just texted him, I wrote on that guy’s facebook wall, and I tried to add this other guy. Wait, shit. I’M A ROLLER HO!

Auntie Social, you’re not funny! STOP!  [Paraphrased.] -Tweeted by Rollercon*

*(Everything else was said by me except the Dreamboat quote).

Friday, August 12, 2011

Rollercon made me think…Banked or Flat Track?

There’s a lot of other shit to write about or say regarding Rollercon 2011 but the most pertinent topic and the one I felt most compelled to write about first, was the main differences between banked and flat track roller derby. I have wanted to discuss this topic at length before, but watching derby in Vegas really re-energized my desire to write about it.

First of all, I’m sorry, but banked track roller derby is just way more fun to watch. Of COURSE flat track roller derby is still awesome. Especially when you’re watching the caliber of talent that you see at Rollercon. But there is just something about a banked track that has a more “event” style feel. And gosh, I suppose I take for granted just how awesome a venue the Spruce Goose Dome in Long Beach really is. With the banked track, bleachers, and stage lighting, it creates a professional arena atmosphere. 

But here I must interject that the beautiful thing about flat track roller derby is you can play it anywhere. Flat track roller derby has made the sport accessible to literally millions of people, so I will not deny its positive attributes. It has brought the sport I love to women all over the world, and that’s an amazing thing. But banked track roller derby is the future.

Okay, so- Long Beach sort of has its own rule set so I cannot speak for all banked track derby, just what I know. But the biggest difference about our style roller derby is:

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Sunday, August 7, 2011

The contest is closed! Plus, every name submitted, ever!

The Name That Trick contest for the Moxi Rollerskates is NOW CLOSED!

But here are all the names submitted for the trick, thanks for entering!

[62 total entries.]

The name : it’s creator

The Smoothie Maker: Killer Bee
The Rolling Dervish: Wendy Knaub
The Texas Tornado: Eric Keller
Twisted Sister Blister: Vickie Jones
Tossing the Salad: Pia Mess
Bloody Mary Go Round: Darkjester
The Sugar Blender: Miranda “Rosie” Rivera
The Buzz Saw: Susan Chase
The Tilt-A-Whirl: Marcela “Doogie Rouser” Marquez
The Ghetto Bird: Surly Temple
Cross 16: Eva Rodriguez
Renegade Roller Comikaze: Kate Devius
The Dizz Bang: Jeanne Sause Graham
Auntie Gravitational Pull: Stacey Bcubed Duvall
The FoShwivel: Sheri Mahlke
The Whirley Bird: Bryce Allen Fleharty
Luv Circle: Nick Dalai Gleason-Schmuck
Circle Jerk-Roll: Megan Megronomikon Whittaker
Circle Jerks: Shakira Glover
The Kama Spintra: Mel ‘Kit’ Sperduto
Warped Whirl/Socially Spun: Venus Bontadelli
Twirly Whirley: Amber Smith
Spin Cycle: Heidi Garman
Twirlin’ Tacos: Roxie Box
Twista Sista: Teri Minter
Sin Bin Spin: Kristine Baloga
Ring around the Moxis: Jessica Manuel-Lofton
The Hell Spin: McKenzie Hobbs
The Cheeri-O! : Rochelle Belvis
Whirly Girlie: Shelley Doljack
Furl: Gigi Hernandez
Gal-ee-Oop! : Fabian Flores
Sista Twista: Diane Elias
Screw-Driving: Alyson McCoy
The HERicane: Tina Rusher Davis
Twistastic: Weston Keller
Siamese Spin: Valeria Garza
Tango Twirl: Bianca Lowkeen
Moxi Go Round: Meredith Turner
Vomit Comet: Anita Nother
Gypsy Twist: Crystal Schoefer
Booty Fantastic: Destyn Sublett
The Piston: Cannon Doll X
The Spiral Tap: Monica Jimenez
The Revolver: Gato Jimenez
Circle of Destruction: Jessie Schneider
Derby Wedding Ring: Meredith Kasten Zolty
Rad Rotor: Tamara B Nicholson
Side Grinder: Faith Rolls
Twirl O’ Whirl: Karla Kes Smith
Japanese Ninja Bears: Jumbo Jett
2 fukuyup: Dawnell Wickedspeedia Smith
TAZ~maNiaN she devils! : Mele Ke
Cirque du Roller: Zarina Moreno
Mary’s go-round: Jonah Morales
Royal Flush (because Toilet Bowl was too crass!) : Keren Lowell
The Widow Maker: Hector Arias
The Whoretex: Frankie Rogers
Windmill: Coach Kutthroat Kandie
Pinwheel of Death: RD Roxi
Rolleround: Dogula
Whirling Girlish: Richard Simmons

We will announce the winner by the end of August, and there shall be 3 runner up prizes.

Hugs N Shoves!

Friday, August 5, 2011


Last night the top 28 skaters to represent the U.S. in the first ever Roller Derby World Cup were chosen!

Check it out!!! http://derbynewsnetwork.com/2011/08/team_usa_announces_28_skater_roster

Congratulations to:

Amanda Jamitinya (Rocky Mountain)
Atomatrix (Oly)
Bonnie Thunders (Gotham)
Claire D. Way (Boston)
DeRanged (Rocky Mountain)
Donna Matrix (Gotham)
Fisti Cuffs (Gotham)
Frida Beater (Rocky Mountain)
Joy Collision (Charm City)
Juke Boxx (Minnesota)
Juska (Denver)
Little A (Tampa Bay)
Medusa (Minnesota)
Psycho Babble (Rocky Mountain)
Sassy (Oly)
Sexy Slaydie (Gotham)
Shenita Stretcher (Philly)
Smarty Pants (Texas)
Snot Rocket Science (Steel City)
Soulfearic Acid (Rose City)
Suzy Hotrod (Gotham)
Tannibal Lector (Oly)
Teflon Donna (Philly)
Tracy Akers (Denver)
Urkin Jerkin (Rocky Mountain)
V Diva (Dutchland)
Varla Vendetta (Windy City)
White Flight (Rose City)

UPDATE 8/6/2011: Tournament organizer Black Dahlia clarifies that the competitive roster will be 20 skaters, not 28: "The U.S. has a roster of 20 for the actual Cup, just like all the other teams. But there is going to be a U.S. vs. U.S. game on Thursday night to kick off the weekend, and in order to make two teams of 14, they are picking eight extra players who will be taking part in that bout only, not in the Cup. The 28 who were announced represent the total. Rosters are due on September 1st, so the actual Cup team will be set then."

Monday, August 1, 2011

We're extending the contest deadline!

We are extending the deadline for the contest to Win a Pair of Moxi Rollerskates to August 6th!
So smoke a bowl and get to brainstorming!

Sunday, July 31, 2011

Rollercon 2011 Hot/Not List

Auntie Social’s RollerCon 2011 Hot/Not List

Hot                                                    Not

Metallic Helmets                              Granny Panties
Full Coverage                                   Tampon Strings
Flasks                                                Koozies
Big Bushes                                        Mustaches
Side Ponies                                        Mullets
Having Fun                                        Being Cool
Falling in the Pool                             Puking in the Pool
Skate Safe Campaign                         Free limo to After Party
Taking the Stairs                                Waiting for/Getting stuck in the elevator
Roller Pros                                         Roller Hos

Thursday, July 28, 2011


Objective: To create chaos and disorder in a community of otherwise peaceful participants, for no particular reason. Motive still undetermined.

Modus Operandi: Carrying out covert secret ops with stealth and cunning.

Previous Infiltrations: NCRG, Sac City, The Bay Bombers, Undead Bettys, SVRG, East Bay Roller Derby, LBRD, Hollywood, and your mom.

Special Skills: Master of Assholery, Secret Agent in training.

Current Projects: Rollercon 2011

Future Infiltrations:
• Space (or the past)
• Mainstreet, USA, Disneyland
• The Eiffel Tower

Wednesday, July 27, 2011


Rollergate 2011                                            
Unassociated Rollerpress                       

July 27, 2011

Las Vegas, Nevada: It’s the biggest scandal in recent roller skating history. It seems an unidentified skater has infiltrated one of the most popular events for roller derby fans and athletes: Rollercon. The annual convention in Las Vegas, Nevada is being held this week from July 27th through the 31st and features derby matches, clinics and seminars, vendors, games and more.

Reports began to surface early Wednesday that a rogue roller had been spotted skating through the hallways of hotels, systematically knocking on every door and inexplicably giving everyone the finger, apparently unprovoked. While witnesses claim to have captured the nameless nuisance on camera, all images of the elusive trouble maker seem to have vanished from surrounding surveillance footage and camera phones.

“She appears to be creating chaos and mayhem for no reason at all” said one Convention attendee. “We can’t figure out why she’s doing it or who she is.” Though no crimes have been committed, (yet) authorities and Convention staff are on the lookout for this anonymous skater as it seems her mission is to agitate the public and create disorder amongst an otherwise peaceful group.

If you have any information or know the identity of this unwanted presence, please contact authorities or Convention staff immediately. If you see her DO NOT APPROACH HER. She is an incredibly cunning master of deceit and will surely try and convince you she has done nothing wrong. DON’T BELIEVE HER.

Monday, July 18, 2011

Always secure your oxygen mask first (or, a concussion story)

Always secure your oxygen mask first/or A concussion story

Me, right before I ate it!

Before we go into the details of the week that followed, let me re-cap the actual accident. I was at Ghetto Park, (that’s what we call it, it’s a skate park in the middle of the projects in LB) practicing with the Moxi Junior Street team. (Every Sunday at noon if anyone wants to join us). I was getting pretty bold. It was my 4th or 5th time on ramps and I was starting to feel pretty comfortable doing jump transitions and dropping in. Plus, there were a bunch of 10 and 12 year olds making me look bad. So I got ballsy.

I don’t remember how I fell or what caused me to fall. Not because I lost consciousness but just because I don’t know what I did wrong. If I did, I wouldn’t have done it! Uni Mommmer says as I was going back and forth doing my jump transitions that my feet became increasingly farther apart, and then one time I just landed wrong, (you’re supposed to land it with both feet at the same time, and I landed one in front of the other) and then went down the ramp onto my shoulder, and then face!

I want everyone to know that I WAS WEARING ALL MY PADS. And thank god too, because I probably would have lost consciousness, or worse, if I didn’t have a helmet on. I have knocked a tooth out before and I had just gotten $300 worth of dental work done on my front teeth. I was SO grateful I hadn’t broken a tooth! I think in the future, I am going to start wearing my mouth guard to the skate park. Forget losing a tooth, I’m lucky I didn’t break my jawbone! I slammed my face fucking HARD.

Karla Sutra took this immediately after the fall

To see the pictures I took that day CLICK HERE!
Just the week prior, my friend Estro Jen had told me a story about going to the skate park in Venice Beach and meeting a dude in a neck brace. He explained that he always wore his helmet, but this fateful day he had loaned his helmet to a child who did not have any protective gear on, and low and behold, that was the day he broke his neck! Estro explained to me that this guy’s story really got to her and she promised him she would start wearing her helmet again. The light bulb came on and she had an epiphany: She said to me, “You see, that’s why you always secure your oxygen mask first.”

Ultimate Beach Party/Moxi Junior Street Team

This past weekend Alfredo’s by the beach hosted the first annual Ultimate Beach Party at Cherry Bluff in Long Beach. Vendors and merchants were present for the weekend of fun along with musicians and the Moxi Junior Street Team. Moxi and friends had a vert ramp set up on the beach and boarders and roller skaters alike skated side by side in an epic rolling rumble.

The highlight of the weekend was definitely Moxi’s Junior Street Team. Recently Moxi Skate Shop decided to sponsor four exceptional skater tots! Killer Bee Killed, Syd Vicious, Astro Star and Lucky Harm have been chosen to represent Moxi and take to the streets for promotions and flyering. Read more below!

"We are introducing our first ever Moxi Street Team to the City of Long Beach. We have invited 4 youngsters to be our very first sponsored skaters to support them in their continued journey as well-rounded, talented & skilled lifestyle roller skaters. Team Skaters will receive special discounts and free shwag at Moxi Roller Skate Shop!." –Moxi

Estro Jen with some Junior Girls at Ultimate Beach Party

I am very excited about this and I love supporting junior skaters. I think it’s great that Moxi is reaching out to not only help junior skaters, but elevate the sport as a whole and expose the community to a new side of the sport. While it was disappointing that I couldn’t skate because of my recent concussion, I had a blast watching all the kiddies rockin’ and rollin’ on the ramps. I look forward to keeping everyone updated on these awesome kidlets.

Check out some of these shots from the weekend and like them on facebook!


Saturday, July 16, 2011

It's I love Roller Derby Day! (Pt. 2)

I made this wit' my 'chit

It's I love Roller Derby Day again! (I can't believe my blog has lasted over a whole year! Check out the blog I posted last year on I love roller derby day, it's my top 10 things I love about roller derby!) In celebration, and since I am going to Rollercon for the first time this year, I am going to post the top 10 things I am excited about for Rollercon 2011.

10) Making fun of people who brought kids to Vegas

9) Skating down the Las Vegas strip
8) A hug from Dumptruck

7) A spanking from The Commissioner

6) Long Island ice teas at 9 am and Mimosas at 11 pm

5) Going to a strip club (???)


3) Networking (Partying)

2) A new found appreciation for being a Californian, (even if I do live in L.A.)

1) Infiltrating that shit! I said to my friend, "I think Rollercon is going to piss me off" and she said, "Dude, I think YOU'RE going to piss Rollercon off." Touche friend, touche.

I've got 500 stickers, 650+ mini mags, 500 business cards and 20 promo items for 20 lucky people.


Sunday, July 10, 2011

Sunday Self Portraits/Concussion Photos

I thought I was going to post one "Sunday Self Portraits" blog and then begin doing them regularly but then it didn't really pan out that way. Perhaps it is better doing it only once it awhile so you can really gauge a difference between the photos. (?) If you want to see what I looked like in the first Sunday Self Portraits blog I wrote, click here.

This Sunday self portraits blog is actually pretty exciting since I took them on the day I got a concussion! Sunday July 10th, 2011.

This is me icing my face immediately after it happened.

This POV shot is me feeling like puking in the ER.

This is my fucked up face in the ER.

Monday, July 4, 2011

The Auntie Villain

Today, I was simultaneously the hero AND the villain at the skate park. There were a bunch of families around picnicking for the holiday and a bunch of unsupervised children running around the bowls and sliding down half pipes. After watching skateboarders and bmx'ers getting increasingly pissed and nearly knocking a bunch of tiny tots down, I announced, "ALRIGHT. I DON'T MIND BEING THE FUCKING BITCH HERE. GET OUT OF OUR BOWLS. NO ONE IS HAVING FUN ANYMORE BECAUSE YOU ARE ALL RUNNING AROUND. There are plenty of places for you to play, there's a jungle gym right over there! It is illegal for us to skate everywhere else in this city and this park was built for US. If you're not going to respect the skate park, those who use the park are going to get pissed at you!" The bowl cleared out and I said to all the real skaters and bikers, "okay. you can have fun now." And then I dropped in, followed by the rest of the skaters. I got cheers from the bikers and boarders and mean stares from the kids. My friend said to a tiny kid, "Look, I don't want you to get hurt" but I felt compelled to add, "ya but apparently your parents don't give a shit if you do." I mean WTF! We're serious athletes here and these parents are using it as a fucking baby sitter. NO ONE was paying attention. A bunch of tiny kids almost got decked! Everything's fine and fucking dandy until someone gets hurt. I feel kinda bad but no one was taking control!!! That's why I had to say, "Look, someone's got to be the bitch here. Might as well be me. I have no problem stepping up and being the bad guy for the sake of everyone else's fun". But I did feel a little dirty afterward. I mean, I said fuck in front of a bunch of kids.

Happy 4th of July! Roller Derby is 100% American!

I think that's a big deal. There aren't many sports that America can claim inventing 100%, but Roller Derby is one of them, and I think that's neat! One time my friend said that there's a reason America sucks in the Olympics at sports like curling and shot put.  It's cause we reign at the COOL sports like surfing and snow boarding. And now, we can add Roller Derby to that list! Not to mention, almost all the skates in the world are made in America.

Finally something you can be proud of! America invented Roller Derby!

Thanks Leo Seltzer!

Friday, July 1, 2011

Win a pair of Moxi Rollerskates! -NAME THIS TRICK CONTEST-

You read that right, we're giving away a pair of Moxi Rollerskates!


It's my blog's first birthday and to celebrate I'm partnering with Moxi Rollerskates to host my very first contest. The zoo pattern are my favorite Moxi skates because they're the EDGIEST, so that's the pair we're giving away. Not your favorite? Too bad! Because this contest is to win a free pair of MOXI ZOO SKATES! (Your size!)

I know, I know, you're wondering how to enter, right?

All you have to do is NAME THIS TRICK.

This is me and my buddy Estro Jen spinning in circles! This trick has some frilly ice skating name but we think it needs a derby name. You know how Dump Truck coined the term "Power Jam" right? Well this could be your time to shine! You could go down in skating history!

TO ENTER: Come up with a snazzy new name for this best buddies trick. Estro Jen and I will be choosing the winner solely based on WHICH NAME WE LIKE THE BEST and announcing the winner on my blog AND the Moxi Rollerskate shop blog by midnight California time on AUGUST 6th. That's right, you have one whole month to come up with something clever, so make your entry good! You must "like" Auntie Social's facebook fan page in order to be eligible to win. One entry per person. Submit your entry by posting your trick name on Auntie Social's facebook page OR the Moxi Rollerskates facebook page. We will confirm your entry has been received by "liking" your post. Check back on August first when we unveil the trick's new name and announce a winner!

RULES AND RESTRICTIONS: You have to live in the United States, but as long as you live in the lower 48, if you win we will ship your skates to you. We will double check contestant pages to see that you have "liked" Auntie Social's page on facebook before officially confirming a winner, so make sure you like me!

Thursday, June 30, 2011


I found this series of photos featuring my friend Pia Mess and I fell in love with it. I like to visualize myself winning and meditate about performing well on the track. I think this speech has become my new roller derby affirmation! Words from the speech have been added and all photos are by Joe "Rollerfan" Schwartz. (It's really hard to read the text, but it's awesome! For better quality pictures, click here).

To listen/watch to whole speech check out this youtube video!

Have you seen this?

If any of you have been wondering, the graphic below is for a promo campaign I will be running at RollerCon this year. It's funny because I have been a roller girl since 2005 and have never been to Rollercon, but in a blog last year around this time, I predicted that I might be going this year, and I am! Check out the blog I wrote last July, about derby wives and featuring my old coach Kutthroat Kandie!

And stay tuned for more info about my Rollercon promo campaign! 

Junior Derby Coach?

BLADE & QUADZILLA = Spy vs. Spy?

Do you guys all know Coach Blade? The guy Andrew Wilson's character was based on in the movie Whip It? And you all know Quadzilla right? The awesome Rat City coach? Well, don't you think it's kind of funny that one's skating history is with inline skates and his name is BLADE and the other one is a quad skater and his name is QUAD?



And it's even FUNNIER when you consider that one is black and one is white.

They're like the freaking Spy vs. Spy of the roller derby world!


Judy Arnold came into the shop on Tuesday!!! It was awesome!!! She lives in Redding, and that's a LONG way from Long Beach, so we chatted for awhile and talked about her glory days in derby. We invited her to a practice at the Queen Mary dome that night but she had to get back to family obligations. She signed some postcards for us and was kind enough to let us take a video while she practiced some old school blocking moves with me!

And here's an old video of Judy in action! Check her out on youtube for more! 

Oh and for all you who thought junior derby was a NEW thing, Judy Arnold began skating at a roller derby training school at the age of 12. Junior derby has existed from the very beginning!

Notice anything different?

Notice anything different?

In case you don't pay attention on facebook, I'm announcing my very first contest on Friday! Why this Friday? (Of course there's a significance...) This Friday is July 1st, the anniversary of my very first roller derby blog. 

...This Friday is my blog's first birthday! What better way to celebrate than to announce a contest!? To get ready I have turned my blog from blue to red and black, and posted this photo as a hint:


So be sure to check back on Friday for all the details!

Monday, June 13, 2011

Junior Derby Girl Blog

I just helped my favorite junior derby girl start her very own blog!

I set up the layout for her, and I type, but she comes up with all the ideas and the words are all her!

Her name is Killer Bee and she's 10, so it's totally age appropriate. She is the only one who adds content.

Check it out!


Belmont Hot broads Initiation June 3rd


I skated as a sub again in LBRD's third game of their second season, but this time I played with the brand new team The Belmont Hot broads! LBRD only had three teams last year, and this year added a fourth. I was stoked to be able to play with them, especially since it's Pigeon's team. In my Pigeon blog I mentioned that we played in the first two games together as subs and both times our team won. Lo and behold, we pulled out another win, 100 to 97.

I can easily say this was the most exciting game I can ever remember playing. (With the exception of course, of this debacle). Fifteen minutes before the end of the bout I remember looking around at my team and saying, "You know what, no matter who wins this was one great game. We have been neck and neck all night!" And we HAD been pretty much evenly matched, the entire night. But with like 6 minutes to spare, the Terminal Island Tootsies had gained about a 12 point lead on us. It seemed improbable we could pull a win out, but still possible. Pigeon had been jamming A LOT. Our awesome coach for the night Dangerous was calling the shots. She looked at the gals going in for the next jam and said, "okay, she's going to go around and earn 4 points right now, (indicating Slice Princess, ...I believe...) and then Pigeon is going to go and earn 4, and then Auntie, if we still have time, you will jam and get 4 points. But everyone, THEY CANNOT EARN ONE POINT IN ORDER FOR US TO PULL OFF THIS WIN!!" The pressure was fucking ON.