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Wednesday, July 27, 2011


Rollergate 2011                                            
Unassociated Rollerpress                       

July 27, 2011

Las Vegas, Nevada: It’s the biggest scandal in recent roller skating history. It seems an unidentified skater has infiltrated one of the most popular events for roller derby fans and athletes: Rollercon. The annual convention in Las Vegas, Nevada is being held this week from July 27th through the 31st and features derby matches, clinics and seminars, vendors, games and more.

Reports began to surface early Wednesday that a rogue roller had been spotted skating through the hallways of hotels, systematically knocking on every door and inexplicably giving everyone the finger, apparently unprovoked. While witnesses claim to have captured the nameless nuisance on camera, all images of the elusive trouble maker seem to have vanished from surrounding surveillance footage and camera phones.

“She appears to be creating chaos and mayhem for no reason at all” said one Convention attendee. “We can’t figure out why she’s doing it or who she is.” Though no crimes have been committed, (yet) authorities and Convention staff are on the lookout for this anonymous skater as it seems her mission is to agitate the public and create disorder amongst an otherwise peaceful group.

If you have any information or know the identity of this unwanted presence, please contact authorities or Convention staff immediately. If you see her DO NOT APPROACH HER. She is an incredibly cunning master of deceit and will surely try and convince you she has done nothing wrong. DON’T BELIEVE HER.

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