Welcome, or fuck you, depending.
I'm not here to tell you how many calories you can burn roller skating, I'm here to incite and entertain.
Take me or leave me.

Monday, July 4, 2011

The Auntie Villain

Today, I was simultaneously the hero AND the villain at the skate park. There were a bunch of families around picnicking for the holiday and a bunch of unsupervised children running around the bowls and sliding down half pipes. After watching skateboarders and bmx'ers getting increasingly pissed and nearly knocking a bunch of tiny tots down, I announced, "ALRIGHT. I DON'T MIND BEING THE FUCKING BITCH HERE. GET OUT OF OUR BOWLS. NO ONE IS HAVING FUN ANYMORE BECAUSE YOU ARE ALL RUNNING AROUND. There are plenty of places for you to play, there's a jungle gym right over there! It is illegal for us to skate everywhere else in this city and this park was built for US. If you're not going to respect the skate park, those who use the park are going to get pissed at you!" The bowl cleared out and I said to all the real skaters and bikers, "okay. you can have fun now." And then I dropped in, followed by the rest of the skaters. I got cheers from the bikers and boarders and mean stares from the kids. My friend said to a tiny kid, "Look, I don't want you to get hurt" but I felt compelled to add, "ya but apparently your parents don't give a shit if you do." I mean WTF! We're serious athletes here and these parents are using it as a fucking baby sitter. NO ONE was paying attention. A bunch of tiny kids almost got decked! Everything's fine and fucking dandy until someone gets hurt. I feel kinda bad but no one was taking control!!! That's why I had to say, "Look, someone's got to be the bitch here. Might as well be me. I have no problem stepping up and being the bad guy for the sake of everyone else's fun". But I did feel a little dirty afterward. I mean, I said fuck in front of a bunch of kids.

1 comment:

  1. Nah mate, that was entirely called for! Good on you! Plus you would've felt like a real jerk if some kid got hit and you didn't do anything.