Welcome, or fuck you, depending.
I'm not here to tell you how many calories you can burn roller skating, I'm here to incite and entertain.
Take me or leave me.

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Blade Blog and Keith Stone

Recently Jerry Seltzer gave Blade a little shout out on that ever popular social networking hub facebook. Even though I gave up facebook for lent, (23 days and counting) my friend who skates with Coach Blade and knows I like his style had to text me to inform me that J. Seltz, whom I love and respect, was singing Blade's praises on the interwebz.

Jerry Seltzer
 - March 26th
Please don't anybody take this wrong, but after watch the RMRG and LADD game last night, I wish you all had the advantage of either working with Blade Gallagher, Cliff Butler in the west, Judy Sowinski and Skip Schoen in Philly. There is an art to skating the banked track that is a thing of beauty and it wasn't there! I don't just mean one team.

And I was glad, because Blade deserves recognition and Jerry has some clout. I thought I'd keep the ball rolling on exposing his talent by giving him a mention myself. I've been trying to get him to write a guest blog, (like about the time he skated at the Grammy after party) or allow me to write a feature piece on him, (if only he would answer my interview questions) but it hasn't happened quite yet. If you want a little taste and also some background on how we know each other, read my blog 75 Years of Roller Derby: A Diamond Celebration. Fortunately however, Jerry's words of wisdom collide with the airing of a recent commercial Blade happens to be in: he doubles for Keith Stone in this...

(or watch here-> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2RWDr1HEso)

And as always, check out his skate school.

When I grow up...

I want to be one of these women when I grow up!

(Watch this video! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bCsly6g04UQ)

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

DIY Derby: Wrist Guard Covers

The other day I was going through my sewing box and I found a precious piece of Auntie Social History. I thought I had lost them but no, I would never allow that to happen. I just stowed them away in a hidden compartment so that they’d be safe, and boy was I delighted when I found them.

They can be seen here ^
^ Here...

...^ Here...

If you haven’t read my DIY Derby Blog on Uniforms, I personally like the themes and outfits as opposed to the sweat resistant jerseys that WFTDA leagues are evolving towards. It’s more spectator friendly and it’s a characteristic that differentiates roller derby from other sports. We LIKE that it’s different from other sports. And fun themes are just well, fun.

...And also here^

Product Review: Long Board Gloves

Estro Jen
Whenever I go visit Estro Jen in Long Beach she has something cool and new for me to try. Whether it’s a spinner or a ramp or an improved skate tool or the latest skate boot or plates, she is always hip to the newest stuff. This last time I came to visit she had just acquired these funky hand brakes. They were designed for skate boarders, but if you know anything about Estro Jen at all she does not adhere to the cultural norms. She doesn’t fit in any box and she breaks down the barriers that separate boarders and skaters. She grew up braving the ramps and half pipes at skate parks on her quad roller skates and it’s only natural she saw these gloves meant for skate boarders and said “Hey, I could use those!”

Triple 8 Long Board Gloves = Hand Brakes Yikes!

Of course, since they’re not designed for skating and you don’t have an example to guide you, you kinda gotta figure it out yourself. Here’s me having a go with them outside Moxi. 

Figuring it Out Figure 1 and Figure 2

The first thing that happened was I tried to shoot the duck backwards, (something I’ve been trying to master lately, I can go forwards, but not backward for some reason) thinking the gloves were the perfect aid in helping me to get over my fear and finally successfully execute the maneuver, I tried it, fell hard backwards and immediately declared, “oh ya, you don’t have gloves on your ass dummy”. I said to myself that just because I had big plastic plates on my hands didn’t mean I still wasn’t really vulnerable and reminded myself to be more careful.

There’s a really huge hill down by the beach that I headed to so I could put them to good use and get some speed. I took a picture of the giant hill to prove how scary it all was, but half my pics didn’t save to my camera. I have no idea how Estro took that series snapshot picture above actually.  So sorry I don’t have more photos. I’m a writer not a photographer, give me a break.

So when going down a big hill like that, I usually brake using the plow, (think skiing) or I make lots of big sweeping turns back and forth across the street so I don’t pick up too much speed. The night before I had already braved the same hill without any protection at all, and saw skate boarders fly down it with reckless abandon, knowing it would flatten out at the bottom and they would have plenty of time to slow themselves down. So this time, having conquered the hill 5 times already and now with added protection, I went for it.

Friday, March 25, 2011

My Duty to You (or "FUCK YOU IF...")

Some things just never change.

Sometimes when I come across writing from my past, I am shocked at my own passion and fire. I am tempted to change the words or revise it to soften the harshness.

But then I remind myself that I am who I am for a reason, I have always evoked reaction from exuding pure raw truth, and I do not wish to erase or deny my past. Re-reading how I felt years ago just reinforces in my gut who I was born to be and what my mission in life is- to expose the truth and radiate art from my pores. -To reflect back onto the world the twisted way in which I see and interpret it. I have grown to understand that I should not repress this in me, but nourish it and help it blossom, as I now realize who I am is a refreshing ray of sunshine to so many who can relate but do not speak up. Refusing to censor myself is a favor to all the repressed souls of this world who can't help but do otherwise.

I walk forth with a renewed purpose and sense of duty to my patronage. Keep reading. It's only going to get better.

With that said, here is an Oldie but Goodie- originally drafted on April 5, 2007 and entitled "Fuck you if..." Please enjoy my unadulterated, gritty, in-your-face truthiness. And if you don't well then, fuck you.

Monday, March 21, 2011


That I'm good at it.

Period. Bar None. Case Closed.

No, seriously. I don't care if that sounds cocky, a guy asked me this recently and instantly and without reserve I blurted that out. It was the first thing I thought of and it's true.

I love roller skating. I love the speed. I love how it makes me feel like dancing even though I hate dancing. There's nothing that puts a shit eating grin on my face more. The other day while soaring down a hill I declared aloud, "You know, I think this probably feels more like flying than ACTUALLY flying an air plane!" I dig it more than anything.

But my favorite thing about ROLLER DERBY? Easy. I reign.

Oh sure, I'm not the best there is. I know that. I'm not even the big fish in a little pond anymore, I get that. Roller Derby is evolving and what with junior derby getting more popular, there's plenty of 16 year old up and comers poised to take my spot. But in my life? In my own personal judgment room? It's what I'm best at. Compared to ME.

I'm #1!

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Which is it?

Which is it?

I don’t do this too often: write about things besides skating, but sometimes when it’s music I like to post. I went on a date last night for the first time in over 4 years. Why? I just escaped the convent! Actually, a long-term relationship, same thing, right?  Got into a conversation about women putting men into a category of “friend” or “potential spouse” within a few seconds of meeting, and in my mind I drew a comparison of these two songs.

So, which is it?

All I really want to do (is baby be friends with you)

 or, Foolish Love

Law of Attraction and Monkey Pillows

I believe in the power of attraction. You know, fate, the power of the universe, stars aligning, whatever. If you repeatedly think a thought, consciously or subconsciously, you are sending it out into the universe like a wish. It truly is the idea of "all thoughts are prayers". It's how come I've ended up here, in LA, writing about roller derby. Because I've thought about nothing else for 5 years. There was no plan, the universe brought me here. So, if something keeps coming to you in your life, in whatever way or form, you should take notice and try and find out why. I have a theory, that it takes 2 or 3 times to really notice, and if that thing comes to you a 4th time, and you still ignore it, well- we call that a lost opportunity, and it ain't never coming back.

My dad heard a story of a little tradition a long time ago, that he liked and decided to adopt in his own life. After he told it to me, I adopted the same practice. The story goes like this- two business men were out to lunch and they hadn't seen each other in awhile. Upon meeting one gentleman says to the other, "By gosh, now that's a smart hat!" And the other thanks him. Again, when leaving the restaurant, the first man again says, "I sure do like that hat." They stood outside the restaurant chatting before parting ways, and before the hatted man got into a taxi, the other man reiterated one more time, "I just MUST pick myself up a hat like that. It is very stylish". With that, the other man's expression changed to one of compassion and his eyes lit up. ding ding ding. "You've said the magic words my friend. I have a belief that if someone compliments me on something three separate times, it was meant to be theirs, Here you go". And hands the man his hat. The other man apologized profusely and tried to explain, "No no no, that's not what I meant" but it was too late. Besides, it was out of his control at that point. The man had a staunch belief and he had to stick by it. He HAD to take the hat. Out of principle.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

DIY Derby: The Perfect Match

This is more inspiration from my trip to Long Beach this past week.

Actually, I have been in love with this thing since the moment I saw it months ago, and have been meaning to feature it ever since. I just now got around to taking a snap shot and telling you all about it.

Here it is: The Perfect Match.

Darn it. I knew I should have taken a picture of it next to something. It’s probably about a little more than a foot high, to give you some perspective.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

If it wasn't for roller derby

If it wasn’t for roller derby, I’d have no friends and nothing to do.

I just moved to LA 2 weeks ago. I am not really a Catholic, (not in the strictest or even really the most liberal of interpretations) but I do choose to practice lent. Let’s not get into why. Last year I had a very successful lent, in my eyes. I benefited from the experience greatly and I was looking forward to it this year. (Which begged many a conversation of “If people give up stuff they know is bad for them, why do they start back up again?”) but nevertheless, I ended up anticipating the 40 day sacrilege.

I had the idea in about January to give up facebook. I should have done it for the whole year and made it a resolution. Some people are aghast at this thought and have said to me, “But I thought you had to give up something bad for lent!?” To those people, I have no words.

So I moved to LA two weeks ago, and was just…not hating it, because I was excited and eager at the prospect of a new city and new experience, but… everything I’ve ever known or been taught about LA has pretty much taught me to hate it. And sure enough, within the first week here I had developed a routine of fast food and cursing in long hours of traffic. I had to find a better way, I needed to, or I would be in hell for my time here.