DISCLAIMER:
Welcome, or fuck you, depending.
I'm not here to tell you how many calories you can burn roller skating, I'm here to incite and entertain.
Take me or leave me.

Friday, April 1, 2011

The next wave in Roller Derby

Are you ready for the next wave in roller derby?

This is it!

As roller derby grows and evolves more leagues are adapting to the changing desires of fans and skaters alike. Recent polls have shown that the people want something more from their derby experience. Fans want something more visually stimulating and skaters have been demanding something more athletically challenging.

Now recruiting little people to become Roller Derby Jockeys!

You read that right, we will carry you on our backs!

After years of careful planning and consideration, followed by months of test runs, we are finally ready to unveil our innovative new spin on an American classic and begin a vigorous and thorough screening process. Only the best of the best shall be chosen. Prepare yourself for the next generation of roller derby! We anticipate this new element to the game will really increase ticket sales and recruitment numbers. It’s a win/win for everybody.

If you thought the flat track derby names you’ve heard were cute, wait ‘til you meet Punchin’ Munchkin, Eency Weency and Lil’ Arson Annie of the new Roller Crew Jockey team!

Don’t worry if you have little experience, that’s exactly what we’re looking for. So saddle up and let’s get rolling!



Requirements:

-Must be 18+ to ride
-Cannot be taller than 52”
-Cannot weigh more than 100 lbs.
-Men and Women welcome!





You do not need skating ability or even skates, just pads and a helmet. 

We Will Carry You On Our Backs! 




No comments:

Post a Comment