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Monday, February 28, 2011

“Derby Widows”

Man, I really thought I already posted something about this somewhere on my blog, but if I did I can’t find it. I did give Starry Starry Fight a shout out in my Cop Out x3 blog, but that’s all. 

Have you all heard this term? …Starry Starry Fight is an excellent writer, (I have never had the privilege of meeting her or see her skate), and she has a big archive of blogs. But for some reason, the very first blog of hers I ever read was this one, about being a derby widow.

Let me explain. If you know the term “derby widow”, it usually is in reference to spouses or significant others of derby girls who have been symbolically “widowed” by the presence of roller derby in their womens’ lives which has taken all their free time. But Starry Starry Fight is a REAL widow. The real life kind. I was looking for information on derby injuries when I found this blog and I was pretty taken aback. I think I was even moved to tears.

“I am a derby widow in the most literal sense,  but I had no idea the term was actually in use until now! When Rioters Block mentioned something about derby widows over breakfast today, my head snapped up from the bowl of oatmeal I was trying to eat and I gave her what I think was a pretty pathetic look. Derby daddies are derby widows? Really? Very ironic. Oatmeal, stay down…

…Now that my husband is gone, I think its more important than ever to revisit my questions about derby, womanhood and marriage and really question what effects this sport is having on women and their relationships.”

After reading, I have to say I was pretty bitter about the term “derby widows”. Over time though I realized it was like anything else you can choose to be sensitive about and that it was just a cruel coincidence. But still, it was a pretty dark blog to happen upon, to be my first of all of the ones of hers I could read. But I was instantly emotionally connected to her and became an avid reader.

Like a lot of us who just write our thoughts and feelings down and send them into cyber space, we don’t really know if anyone is reading them. That’s not exactly why we do it- I think for people like Starry Starry Fight, (and myself) we just have to EXPEL the thoughts and feelings out of us until they’re gone. It’s a way to make sense of things, to decompress. I often don’t comment on her blogs and I know she’s not writing them for me, she’s writing them for her, but I still appreciate it.

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