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Friday, May 20, 2011

Celebrity Skaters

Before you we have some of my top picks for this weeks' A-List celebrities that I wish would join the rank and files of the common roller derby girl. For their convenience, I have outlined just what type of skater I think they would be to ease their transition into this rough and tumble life style.

Katie Perry: She’s fine, she’s fresh, she’s fierce, it’s undeniable that if Katie Perry were a roller derby skater she’d be a jammer. She’s too on top of it not to be the star of the show taking center stage all the time, and as jammer the spot light is always on you. Katie could definitely take the heat. She’s used to being scrutinized but takes it in stride. She’s a born performer so she’d be a natural at earning lead jammer status.

Courtney Love: Man that chick is crazy! As the former wife of Kurt Cobain and queen of punk she’s known for being wily and aggressive. If Courtney Love were a roller derby skater she would have to be a blocker, if she ever got out of the penalty box that is! Sure her team could throw her in as a jammer, but she’d prove too valuable as a blocker to risk it.

Lady Gaga: Lady Gaga wouldn’t play roller derby. While Lady Gaga respects roller girls and likes what they are doing for women empowerment, she sees herself helping to break down the boundaries of social oppression in other ways. But she would certainly concoct a bizarre half time show on roller skates involving fire and eggs.

Helen Keller: Talk about having total control over your body. Sure she was blind, but that meant Helen   Keller  was   hyper sensitive to her surroundings.  If she was a roller derby skater she would definitely be a pivot. Though her superior sensitivities would allow her to play any position, it would be best Helen stay in the front of the pack due to her tendency to grope the air and likely get called for back blocking.

Stay tuned for more celebrity picks to come!

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