Kallio Rolling Rainbow

Recently a friend told me about a facebook page he belonged to called something like, "Heller, I thought I was the only one?!" And basically it's a bunch of people with the last name Heller. Well, his little anecdote reminded me of this awesome Roller Derby league, The Kallio Rolling Rainbow of Etela-Suomen Laani, Finland.

Why would Andy's anecdote remind me of them you ask? Well my last name just so happens to be Kallio. Finding this league logo was a total trip. Check out how she's giving the finger, just like me!

Kallio is a Finnish name and in Finland it is just as common as the name "Smith" is in the States. When my sister traveled to Finland she ripped a page out of the phonebook that was entirely Kallio names. But that's Finland you see. Here in America I've never ever met another Kallio. Not one. And I was running my mouth about this very fact at a house party my freshmen year of College when a dopey frat guy approached me and said, "Psh! That is not true! I have met a Kallio before. My mechanics teacher is a Mr. Kallio!" I was convinced he had heard me wrong, and he was saying a different name. "Not possible!" I protested. "My name is too unique, and I have never in my life met another Kallio! And it's MY NAME! I think I would know! You're wrong!" And he laughed at me like the pretentious asshole I was being and walked off. I was flabbergasted so I couldn't let it slide. When I got home I looked up the university faculty registrar and sure enough, there was a Mr. Kallio professor, right there in my very own school. I felt ridiculous.

Anyway, when I discovered Kallio Rolling Rainbow I was delighted. I am all about roller derby, and my name is Kallio, and it's got a tough chick giving the finger. It's like their logo encompasses everything I represent! We're kindred spirits. Just knowing about their mere existence makes me happy, though I wouldn't mind visiting my homeland some day to roll with these ladies. I looked into it and getting a t-shirt would put me back 70 bucks! A pretty penny just to represent the derby girls of the Scandinavian peninsula. Oh well, maybe some day...